Monday, April 27, 2009

Long Live the King

Boston, 27 Apr 2009.

A spokesperson for the House of Hyle this morning announced the passing of HRH King Bernard de Jambon III.

King Barney, or "The King" or just "Bunge" died peacefully in his sleep last night at approximately 10:45 PM Eastern Time. Barney was snuggled up under Jeff's arm watching the Red Sox - Yankees game.

During his active life, Barney got to see a Red Sox player steal home (one of the last "wonders" he witnessed) and traveled extensively both with his handlers and on his own. The King has been to Dayton twice, where he, in his ball, enjoyed the challenging floor plan of the Miamisburg Doubletree Guest Suites. He also made two trips to Myrtle Beach SC where he enjoyed the salty air and view from the 15th floor of an oceanfront condo. He was an accomplished road-tripper and adapted well to spontaneous side trips and overnights in budget motels.

Last year, Barney went on his own trip when Barb and Jeff took a short car ride to the filling station, leaving the kitchen door and garage door open. Barney bounced his ball down the back stairs, through Jeff's office, through the garage and into the parking lot, where, fortunately, Jeff and Barb's car headlights caught the young adventurer headed for the entrance speed bump before it was too late.

King Bernard was approximately 2 years old when he died (76 in hamster years) and made the most of his short time with his family. He kept a clean house but was never reticent about trashing the place for a good party or run in the wheel. Even though a "Royal" he enjoyed simple food like cheese, fresh fruit, corn on the cob, and live meal worms. He was especially fond of canned whipped cream.

A private ceremony was held early this morning at the family's cemetery between the rhododendron bush and the newly blooming red tulips in front of 618 Chickering. Barney is survived by an indeterminable number of siblings and cousins, but no heir. The House of Hyle will begin discussions regarding the identification and accession of Bernard IV after a suitable period of mourning.

The family requests that well wishers make a small donation to the Massachusetts SPCA in lieu of flowers.

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